Parenting

End bedtime battles with good copywriting

Delayed bedtimes, unfinished food, unbrushed teeth. Ah, the unheeded words of a parent can make even the sanest of sane lose it.

Stop the cycle.

Copywriters write copy to strike chords.  To resonate with their audience.  To move them and make them want to buy…even if it’s a product they might not need. 

Our children are our audience and our best copy can sell them on our ideas.

Harness the power of good copy. 

Learn the psychology of marketing and apply it to your children.  Children have the same mentality as a writer’s audience.  They want to be entertained.  They want what they want.  Use copychology on them to make them think that bedtime and brushed teeth is all their idea and that they are good ones. (Check out Robert Cialdini's The Influence of Persuasion.  He teaches why people say "yes" and how to apply it to your marketing.)

Copywriters listen to their audience. 

Oftentimes, children just want their voice to be heard.  Give them the floor.  Let them say what they need to say.

Listen carefully to what they DON’T say, as well as what they do.  Those beauties lack the ability to fully express  what they want or need.  Their frames of reference just aren’t vast enough yet. 

So, SuperCopy, you must listen with intent to what is between the lines, as well as to what is on them. 

Here’s how it works.

Little Suzi doesn’t want to go to bed.  She is having too much fun playing with you.  “You need your rest, Little Suzi” doesn’t cut it.  She isn’t concerned that she needs to sleep so she can develop into the rocket scientist that you dreamt she would become.  She wants to be close to you.  She’s missed you.  She needs you. 

“Little Suzi, I see that you are having a great time.  I didn’t want to sleep when I was your age, either.  So I understand.  But if you can go to sleep now, I will wake you five minutes earlier before school tomorrow so we can spend a little extra time together before you leave.  Do you like that idea?”

Wow.  Suzi is floored.  She was heard and understood…and now your copy has just sold her on the idea of going to bed…when YOU wanted her to. 

Congratulations :)

So the next time you have a request, make it.  Listen to the spoken and unspoken responses and mentally write your copy. 

Your client will be putty in your hands.  

 

Harmony in our homes, helps our minds to feel balanced.  What tips or tricks do you have for maintaining balance?

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The Type A Personality and Parenthood

They swore I was in the military.  They called me DragonLady.  I ate them for lunch. I intimidated them with each click of my high heels as I strolled up and down the aisles watching.  Waiting.  I was a Type A Teacher.

Type A?  Is that like some kind of disease? 

Well, technically, no.  Unless you are a parent.  In school, the students were older and could follow directions a little better than the younger kids.  There was a discipline code in place.  But, at home, the kids don't get to go home at 3pm.  They are here for the duration.  Wrecking and wreaking havoc every moment of every day.

Learning to survive the disease I call "Type A Parenthood" is essential not only for the vicitm itself, but also for their family. 

If you have Type A, or know someone that does, it isn't pretty.  Type A's need to be in control.  They need to have things in order.  They are work-obsessed; competitive.  They are, in short, impatient.

Combine this inherent impatience with child-rearing and the results can be some very stress-filled lives.

So what do you do?

1) Assess the damages - is what you are about to lose your temper over worth losing it?  If you do lose it, then excuse yourself.  The kids are not Type A and they don't need to be subjected to your character flaws.  (I love you and I am Type A, so I can say that :D )

2) Meet in the middle - there are times when the kids are going to need you while you are in the middle of your project.  Stop.  Unless it is due this very second, take a Bucket Break.  What is a Bucket Break?    A break you take to fill your child's emotional bucket.)  Your child will thank you for it and will  be more apt to let your work continue when it's over.

3) Recall - Remember that they are just kids and they want only your love and attention.  They don't do things to make you mad.  They do them to let you know they are there and they need you.

4) Leave it behind - Your Type A traits come in super-handy...at work.  They get you accolades.  They get you promoted.  They get you more money.  But, they don't get you more love from your kids.  Love and attention gets you that!

In short...RELAX

Parenting is hard enough and when you issues like Type A personality in, it can be downright unbearable at times.  Make your life easier and your children's lives happier by loosening your reigns and toning down things.

Hey, that mess on the floor isn't as big as it looks.

 

What is your personality type?  How does it affect your parenting?  I can't wait to hear from you!

Mindful Parenting

Another Element that comes to play in Self is Parent.  Even if you don't become one, chances are, you are close to a child.  This Facet of Self is unique as it holds us in responsibility to a being of Other.  It is not only Self to which we are responsible.  This is an integral part of transforming our Chaos into Cosmos.  Another connection to be made. 

 

Raising Self-Accepting Children

In order to raise children that love and accept themselves, we have to invest time.  Not money.  We have to form connections to them on the Soul-ular level, not just the cellular level.  The connections that we form within Self can help empower the children in our lives to be connected at an early age to Self and to Other.  Imagine raising a Self and Socially aware child.  A child that needs not struggle connecting the Facets of Self that we have struggled to connect.  That is amazing. 

So, we are stepping outside of our own Chaos today in order to bring Order to Other's Chaos.  In doing so, we will bring together another Element of Self. 

Are you ready?

In most societies outside of the West, family is treasure.  Coal is cultivated and diamonds emerge.  Too many children are disconnected from any form of caring adult in this part of the world.  And too many adults don't know how to express the feelings that they do have. 

The Parenting by Connection Remedy

It is a means of showing children how important they really are.  By investing that time and energy in them, they don't just survive, they thrive.  This type of parenting is not for the faint of heart, however.  It takes us stepping up and digging down deep into our cores to bring back the child that we once were in order to connect with the child that we hold in our arms. 

What was it that you wanted as a child?  What was it that you craved and needed as if it were a heroin addiction? 

You needed love.  Love, affection, and understanding.  Through Parenting by Connection, children are received openly and unabashedly. 

Is this limitless parenting? 

On the contrary.  When children feel connected and respected, they reciprocate.  They respect and connect.

Put on your army boots

This method is tough.  Very tough.  It means putting on a smile when you have had people yelling and screaming at you all day.  It means forgetting that you needed to get some work done when Damon took Izabella's toy.  It means, you become a MINDFUL PARENT

You thought I was going to get off of that soap box, didn't you?  Ha!  Fooled you :D

I digress...

Being a mindful parent allows you to concentrate on the whys and wherefores and let's you put child first again.  Oh, and if you have more than one, you will be exhausted by lunch after one morning of this.  However, the key is to remember that you are giving Self and Other precious gifts that will intertwine and give you back treasure troves of jewels. 

You are not expected to struggle and fight through this alone.  True Parenting by Connection requires a listening partner.  This is 100% necessary.  After exhausting your emotional supply because you have just emptied it into your children, you need someone to refill it.  And it gets refilled when we are given the same of what have just spent.  Attention.  Love.  Understanding. 

Thus, we must call on yet another being of Other to help us through.  Hm.  Interesting how we need each other, isn't it?

There are four tools to this parenting method and they are all invaluable.  Without getting too bogged down in detail, they are: Special Time, Playlistening, Staylistening, and Setting Limits.  As a user of said techniques, it is truly amazing to see them work. 

My Experience

The other day, my oldest came home from summer learning camp and a teacher had fussed at her.  Well, not really fussed, but raised her voice.  My darling was going out of the front door of a building which opens to a very busy highway.  The woman yelled her name.  My daughter automatically thought the woman was mad.  She got her feelings hurt.  (She is sensitive like her mom.:D) LOL  Anyway, when I picked her up, she was devastated.  She could only cry when I got her.  And as the Hand in Hand Parenting website suggests, I just let her do it.  I didn't try to make her feel better by diminishing the situation.  I acknowledged her feelings, told her I loved her, and let her respond to each statement I made.  This went on for almost 45 minutes.  In the end of it all, she worked through and cried through the hurt feelings, rather than bottled them inside for later.  She felt connected to me and happy that she could bring me her hurt to me to help her through it.  That was a good feeling.  The connection.  One of my Elements of Self connected to Other. And thus connected me. 

This is the goal.  To combine the Elements of Self to Order Chaos into Cosmos...

What can you do to connect to the small Other in your life?  What priceless gift can you give them today?  Let me know in the comments below:) Check out handinhandparenting.org and let's talk...

© Tania Dakka and Chaotic Musing, 2011