Save your chit chat for social media.
When you start your web copy with the likes of, “Aren’t you tired of…” or “When was the last time you…”, you 1) bore your reader into not wanting to read because EVERYBODY asks those same questions. And 2) it sounds like you wrote your own copy.
And if you want me to pay you thousands of dollars for a program and you’re writing your own copy, it means that you are likely not as successful as your fanciness is trying to make me think you are. And, therefore, likely not a master who deserves thousands of dollars for a program.
Doubt is that son of a bitch that robs your bank account of all the dollas that should be flying in. He tells the reader, “pay attention, something sounds fishy here...why are they putting up subpar words and design if they are making $500K a month? I mean, you have time to do that??? Come on...get your head out of your ass, dude.”
So then, you’re left with less and less profit flowing in. More stress opening the door and fewer conversions making life easier for you.
Doubt kills sales.
You have to write like you know what you’re talking about. You have to start with a start that grips them from the beginning.
How do you do write copy that does that?
You start with narrative. With pain or pleasure that immediately hits home. You start with power statements that catch them off guard by forcing them to read the next line simply because it creates intrigue.
AFTER that, you can MAYBE slide into a more relaxed tone...but I don’t suggest it. Not here. You’re trying to sell. Not find playdates for the kids, goddamn it.
I mean, if you’re a BOSS at what you do...SOUND like it. Because coupling that sound with social proof and straight-talking? And you’ve got a WINNER. You’ve got PROFITS.
A few examples of headline copy that stands out and gets read
YOU’LL MAKE (APPROX) $897K OFF YOUR IDEA
THE PEOPLE’S WHOSE LIVES YOU’LL CHANGE WILL BE CRAZY IN LOVE WITH YOU. EVERYONE WILL TALK ABOUT HOW FUCKING KILLA YOU ARE. THEY’LL BEAT DOWN YOUR INBOX TO GET A PIECE OF YOU. AND YOUR WAITLIST? 6 MONTHS LONG, AT WORST.
NOT? What do you mean NOT? Why won’t they?? See? The headline for the Diamond Evolution pulled you in, painted a picture of what you want to see happen in your practice, then told you you couldn’t have it. Leaving your brain asking, “WHY THE FUCK NOT, TANIA?? GODDAMN IT!”
Let’s look at another example:
EMAILS NOT GETTING BETTER THAN 2% OPEN RATE?
AD SPEND LOITERING AT $5.64 PER CLICK BECAUSE YOU CAN’T GET ANY CLICKS ON YOUR ADS?
Here I started the Fire of the Diamond sales page copy with a question, but it wasn’t a random, arbitrary OMFG-I-have-to-read-this-again question. It was a snap your brain at attention question.
The luxury 5-bedroom on the beach.
Random trips around the world whenever you feel like it.
Another headline from a recent Black Diamond Copy package... no questions. Just started right in with the brushstrokes of the painting for Anita’s copy over at You Can Make You Happy.
Let’s not stop, shall we?
There IS a place for you.
On the throne of your Universe.
Commanding attention from the start. Speaking to that longing to find where one belongs. Short and punchy is what springboards the rest of the power copy behind Lindsey Rainwaters’ site and her Black Diamond Copy.
Annnd this is another question done right:
The longing to create a multiple-six-figure impact on the world and your life?
Is about to become your ultimate reality.
It’s not watered down. It’s painting THE picture they’ve been trying to paint with their lives, so it speaks to their struggle. And answers with hope and intrigue. “HOOOOWWWW, Lenka?? HOW is it going to be my ultimate reality?? I’ve been spinning my wheels for months!”
Headline copy matters.
What happens if you choose the boring, I-don’t-want-to-think-too-hard headline? You choose not to make an impact. You choose to let the reader decide not to read. You choose to let money walk right out of the door it came in through.
Develop headlines that:
Pique interest so they want to finish reading
Sound like you outsourced your copy because you’re not struggling with your business and don’t have time to write it
Bolster trust because it speaks to the true needs they have, not lazy, watered down questions that speed your writing along, not their emotion
Pulls at their hearts’ desires, their souls’ longings, and their wallets to open them for you
Banks profits because it hits the emotional nail on the head for your readers, making you the obvious and only choice
Headlines are doorways. Open them with power copy that says you know what you’re talking about.
Or close them with “let me hurry up and get this done” copy.
The profits are yours. Or not.