So. I sit here, amidst a war. A deep, heart-wrenching war.
A war that says, “Am I even qualified to carry my own name?”
Because if there’s one thing I preach louder than you people’s Sunday morning evangelists, it’s BE YOUR FUCKING SELF.
And I let two people’s opinions TRIP ME THE FUCK UP TODAY.
I started questioning if I’m truly badass because of their comments accusing me of having a heart. That shit fucked with me because 1) I DON’T WANT ONE and 2)WHY THE FUCK DO I CARE if people know it?
My BFF says, badasses don’t give a fuck what anyone says. But I do. So there’s that.
My first thought was, “If I care that people know I have a pain in the ass, piece of shit heart that I wish didn’t exist, then maybe I don’t deserve to wear this badge.”
And after letting that goddamn fear run through me (and I mean it ripped a goddamn hole in my chest big enough for my beloved bike to roll through at 90mph), Dani reminded me, that’s part of who I am...and that’s what makes my work what it is. That IS Badass’D.
It’s the whole reason I’m working with the clients I want to work with, that I’m able to make a house of 7 run (even under duress - for now), that I’m able to raise three trolls to be badasses (even my meek one is working on her howl). It’s the reason I can get up at 3:30 am and create copy for entrepreneurs and big brands, alike.
I have a heart. I cannot help it. But I can hold 4 min planks, drink 120 proof bourbon at 5am, power through ANY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT that stands in my way (including people), create a business that makes 5 figures a month, send my kids (predominantly) home-cooked food everyfuckingday, and keep the dishes and laundry flowing, daily. And, truth be told, I will get my goddamn ass in shape before summer. Watch me.
Because I DON’T FUCKING LOSE.
Ask anyone that knows me.
I’m on my way to a new life because of my need to win my own race. I’m on my way to owning this industry because of the drive to be the best. And I’m on my way to having the life that allows me the freedom to raise powerhouse children because I can’t NOT.
Do I have a heart? I have a HUGE MOTHERFUCKER OF A HEART. But that’s because the blackest part of my soul needs to be perfectly balanced by the FIRE that fuels the fiercest love for the people who matter most in my world.
The lesson? Badass’D is the UNRELENTING DETERMINATION TO FUCKING WIN (even if you’ll sometimes question yourself because you do KNOW the answer, you just have to DIG IT OUT).
Kill your fear. Own your shit. And step the fuck up to whatever your calling is.
And when you’re ready to show the world just how Badass’D you are? Hit me.