Between the Copy Edge participants and about 78% of the small business sites I visit (probably an underestimate, actually), I can say, with all honesty, there’s a severe problem with online businesses and how they’re showing up.
It's bad copy. And it hurts business in so many ways because web copy is how your ideal clients across the globe, who you likely will not meet in a Facebook group, will determine whether or not you are the coach for them.
Bad websites = bad business and lower profits. Period. Because even if you DO meet them on Facebook, they're running straight to your site to see if you ARE the right coach for them. And if they don't feel like you are because your site did a poor job of expressing your expertise and instilling the seeds of trust? Well...they won't dig any further. And you lost a chance to serve them.
So I'm going to tell you about the copy problems and how to fix them today.
1. It gives the impression that you are new.
When you use language that doesn't sound impactful or indicates that you might not know WHO you're "talking" to, it makes the reader feel that you haven't been at this long enough to get them real results.
Examples: "Are you ready to..." (why do you not already KNOW they are ready?)
"Change your mind, change your life" (use of buzz phrases means you're throwing words at the wind and aren't sure if they'll stick)
Fix: Use words that FEEL like you've been doing this for decades and KNOW your ideal clients inside and out.
"Take on the role of a lifetime and lead the change you want to create in your home" (life coach to the mothers who struggle - starts with action, fills them with hope, lets them FEEL that the coach KNOWS she wants to make change)
2. It makes them feel like you're not sure you can get the results.
When you write from a place of "hey, come work with me...I can help you X", it sounds like you're not really sure that you can bring results and therefore enters doubt, a point at which it makes it harder to sell to people.
Example: See above LOL
Fix: Use words that express the emotion that you know you can get results
"Jump into the fire. Ignite your soul. And burn through your own fears and doubts. Because when we're done? Life will be exactly what you dreamt it could be." (NOTE: Be careful not to promise something that you WILL NOT be able to help them achieve)
Feel the difference?
3. They don't even read it to know who you are, what you sell, or how you can help them.
When we say "write like you talk", it doesn't mean for everything - it doesn't mean explain every little detail on the Home Page or in your About. Hell, the sales page is not even the place to just sit and let it all hang out.
Example: "You want more from your life. You want to have the energy to play with the kids again. You want to be able to have a relationship with your spouse. You want to have the money you want from your business and still have time to enjoy it.
So what can you do?
Sure, you can sift through coach after coach, looking for the one that best suits you. Or you can connect with one who gets you.
You see? I know what you want to achieve and it's hard. But it's simple. I'll help you make up your mind and take the action you need to take to achieve your goals.
Life doesn't have to get in the way of your business...and your business doesn't have to get in the way of your life."
OMG - that took a lot to write. And you likely won't hang around to read it, especially if it's boring like this.
So, when you write copy, don't get longwinded. Keep it fun, concise, and interesting.
Fix: Write like you talk in TONE and CONTRACTIONS...not in long winded, tell-tale narratives.
4. There's no trust.
When they read copy from big brands and highly successful businesses, they can feel that they are reading something different. Something powerful and impactful. Something that was likely not written by the owner. Why? The owner is too busy serving their clients to write copy.
Example: All of the above examples.
Fix: Write in narratives that draw pictures. Write with action words. And with authority. (This last one is HUGE)
5. They don't like to be "told" what they want, feel, or struggle with.
Copy that starts with "you" and drivels on about what you think the reader feels or struggles with, is copy that screams that the business owner is inept at writing it themselves and likely doesn't know the ideal client - which is an indicator that they are new and likely not that great.
Example: "You want..." (Are you really starting your copy telling them what they want? They KNOW what they want or at least what they don't want and they don't want you "telling" them. They want to FEEL your pictures about it.
Fix: "The finest of lines separates you from the diamonds and the Maserati. Take the chance that is in front of you and jump headlong into them, leaving behind every doubt and fear that says you can't have them."
So...like I said, there are more things plaguing online copy, but take these five and go fix yours and you'll be 50 paces closer to sounding like you hired someone to do it.
OR - hire someone to do it and get there in a fraction of the time it would take you to write, edit, and test) without even breaking a sweat. Book your Black Diamond Copy today (payment plans now available).
There. Any questions? Looking forward to upleveling your business with you!