“Sit up straight, Tania.” With all the guilt of the previous generations laid on me, I did as I was told.
“Stop fidgeting,” when my leg would shake the entire kitchen table at dinner because I was on the brink of explosion, listening to the news or their boring drivel.
“Pick up your room,” as they trudged up the stairs for their once a year check because cleaning my room always fell fiftieth on my list of priorities.
“DO NOT pour water in your brother’s bed again!” Whatever. He deserved it.
Being the oldest of two brats in our family meant, by birth order, that I was the one to follow the rules and do as I was told. Only I didn’t. Much.
Yet, I lived with a constant fear that kept me JUST inside the lines. Making mischief, instead of doing crack.
That old religious noose that people walk around with, as though their next breath will find them in a hell greater than the one they create for themselves here on Earth, had me by the neck as well.
But there was something inside me telling me that the notion that I had to follow their rules was just my imagination being puppeted by outsiders.
As soon as I let “me” out and began doing as I wished, talking as I wished, believing in my own power, as I wished, everything changed.
Including the way the blood flowed to the page for the people who paid me to bleed for them.
And when I embraced that, when I embraced that I was the master of my own destiny and that I’m only here for a few more years, I decided to say, “Fuck it.”
I took the name Badass’D and ran with it.
An idea that was I was advised against on many occasions, by many mentors.
Again, I wanted it. I needed it. I kept it.
“Fuck it” was the solution for my struggling business.
Previously, I was writing, but barely. And not for the people I wanted to write for. Taking the nickel and dime gigs was all I thought I could handle.
But, I had this voice in me that was bigger than that. A voice that could serve companies and businesses bigger than the cheapskates on ODesk and Elance would pay for.
So with a deeply inhaled, “Fuck it,” I moved on.
Freelancing was no longer an option. I was a businesswoman.
I had a voice to match.
Because I said, “Fuck it.”
Why did “fuck it” work?
This new found ideology allowed me to be and say what I believed, to put my clients' emotions on the page, to FEEL what they needed their clients to feel...without hesitation, apprehension, or FILTER to jade my results.
I began to believe in my own work, to believe in the things people said they felt when they read my work, and not to believe the misguided notion that I wasn’t good enough, an emotion I’d carefully cultured since I was old enough to know I was never going to fit in anywhere.
Dropping those broken beliefs changed everything. Believing in myself and the power of my words changed everything.
I began booking clients that I wanted to work with. I grew a waiting list. Then, I reached $12,000 a month, consistently.
So. Fuck it? Works.
Where is your “fuck it”?
Your “fuck it” is your mojo. It’s your drive. It’s your need to do what it is you were meant to do. It’s your ability to say, “no fucking thank you, I’ve got my own world to build...by my own rules.”
It’s your ability to continue to do what you are doing, EVEN if everything crumbles down around you.
When the shit isn’t flowing the way you want it to, you have to ask yourself, “Am I saying ‘Fuck it’ or am I saying, ‘Meh, whatever’”. Because if you’re accepting where you are and what you’re doing, if you’re accepting the role you’ve been handed (even though it feels like a size 0 on your size 8 frame - and if you’re that skinny...suffer...I’m good with it), if you’re spitting content you’ve been told to spit because that’s what’s expected?
“Meh, whatever” will continue to cripple your business.
Ask yourself what kind of work you would do for the rest of your life and NOT get paid for it. What is it that gets you out of bed in the morning, knowing that the day is going to be a constant battle of hope, despair, fear, anger, happiness, gratitude, joy, and love?
Because if you can put yourself through the mental battle of entrepreneurship because you LOVE what you do that much, and ONLY because you love it that much, you’ve found your right calling.
You’ve found your “Fuck it”.
You’ve found your reason for sucking up the oxygen from precious trees. You’ve found the reason that you will succeed.
Because in the end? It doesn’t matter what you do, if you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.
Saying “fuck it” and doing what you want to do? Unfucks your business. And your life.